Is Gratitude Laziness?

As I sit here tonight crying (not because am sad or hurt but recollecting painful memories) all I can say to my friend is “you don’t understand”.

I have been accused of being lazy at every household chores but I know am not. Yes, I know am not because I grew up without a silver spoon. I grew up in a house which was uncompleted for several years where all the elements rain sunshine heat and cold was all but norm. A house shared with domestic animals goats, sheep, chickens where I have to wake up every morning to sweep out livestock droppings right in the middle of our soon to be sitting room,  It was hilly and I had to sweep uphill each time. I washed dishes with soda soaps on the red soil outside after every meal time come rain or shine. I prepared meals with firewood even during rainy seasons and times when there wasn’t firewood I improvised with (nylons) plastic bags and blew my lungs out to make food ready. My family kept old books and clothes for many years so the younger ones can have something to read and wear when they get to my age (I Am the first child) there was always heaps of this and that, not that we wanted to but we needed to. I grew up sleeping on a bed with no bed sheets or blankets, with no pillows or teddies nothing but the barest necessity. My chores were the hardest growing up. I fetched water from distances as far as 2 miles (Mind you I drew water from deep wells). I go in search of firewood, I at times sell vegetables and fruits, I swept the muddy or dusty environs (depending on season) with my back bent so low and still succeeded at academics; and you say am lazy?

• Forgive me if I wake up in the morning and I see shiny tiles and beautiful rugs and I assume I don’t have to sweep but twice a week – Am only being grateful the floors aren’t mud and animal droppings.
• Forgive me if I wake up and I don’t “neatly” arrange the bed and teddies but only when I have to lie on it – am only being grateful that those are now my concerns when I want to sleep.
• Forgive me if I wash my clothes once in 2 weeks – Am only being grateful I don’t have to wash them every day because that’s all I have.
• Forgive me if I don’t arrange my jeans and clothes in a particular order. – Am only being grateful that now I have clothes I can keep in any order.
• Forgive me if I take my time to cook a meal. – Am only grateful that I don’t have to worry if it rains while am cooking.
• Forgive me if I don’t put a bottle of water in the refrigerator. – Am only grateful now I have drinking water a tap away.
• Forgive me if am being lazy and stubborn now about house chores. – Am only grateful now that life seems better and house chores seem so simple, as simple as an hours activity when am ready for it.

You can’t be through what I have been through and not feel the same way! But if my Gratitude is being seen as laziness I guess I have to find another way to be grateful. *Phew!

Just had to take this off my chest I hope it is not too personal. Let me know how you feel.